Masturbation is a gift of God. Sex is a gift of God to us. Sexual lust is not evil lust, it is God designed human nature. Evil lust is hurtful and harmful to humans. Masturbation is healthy. Masturbation is good. Masturbation is God designed. Masturbation is good for you. Masturbation is for everyone to enjoy.
http://inkaboutit.homestead.com/index6.html1037, 1039, 1040, 1042, 1044 Masturbation and lust(4)
1040 From: Josh Subject: Re: Re: [~ Masturbation and lust
Let me clear something up: masturbation is NOT "having sex with yourself." It is, rather, a natural way to meet the need for sex placed within each of us until we are married. If one masturbates, he/she should be married--he/she clearly does not have the gift of celibacy.
That should do away with any misconceptions about singular bonding
.Say "God's grace is sufficient" to the 90+% of youth who masturbate. I was told it all my teenage years, and it never worked. Besides, I rather think God's grace is sufficient to cover my SINS. So, regardless of whether masturbation is a sin (which is NOT clear in Scripture), God's Grace IS sufficient for me. No, I don't masturbate so that grace may abound; I masturbate because I need to meet my sexual need in a way not prohibited by Scripture.
Luis wrote: >Teaching a son or daughter to do this is only setting them up for a Sexual Habit that cannot always be easily broken. I know this from personal experience. For men or women who fear true intimacy, Masturbation is a way to avoid being fully known by your spouse.<
We don't have to *teach* masturbation; it comes naturally. NONE of my friends in school were *taught* it; we just figure it out because our bodies are telling us we need to. As explained in another post, masturbation is not my way of avoiding intimacy. Masturbation is something in addition to our intimacy. I rather think the avoidance of intimacy is an entirely different problem.
Peace, Luis.
--josh
1039 From: Josh Subject: Re: Re: [~ Masturbation and lust
See my post to Luis for more if you're interested.
...
Sure, I can be romantic, but I'm realistic too. In a class I took in college (Marriage and the Family
), the professor taught that the #1 reason for divorce is unmet expectations (which makes sense to me). There are plenty of other hurdles to overcome in marriage, why make a theologized/romanticized wedding night another? The Bible speaks little if at all about pre-marital sex (yes, it talks a lot about adultery and fornication, but these are not by definition pre-marital), and it speaks even less of masturbation (not at all.. yes, Luis, I disagree that the sin of Onan was masturbation). I do think that pre-marital sex can be implied in fornication, although it seems to be more than that. What I don't see is Scripture speaking of "the One" that we should all wait for, nor do I see it making a big deal out of the wedding night. So why should we throw one more probable unmet expectation into the mix?You said in another post:
I did not get married to just have sex... and I don't know that many people that get married for that reason. I am sure there are a few out there. There are always those few that don't know any better...
I went to Oral Roberts University, and it, like Alise's husband's bible college, was full of youths looking to hitch up. I don't know about the girls, but the guys I know were focused on the permission to finally have sex. Alise addressed this rather well. No, they were not only getting married to have sex, but that was the driving motivator, AND I believe it causes people to marry before they're prepared. I waited 2 years and ten months before I married. By that time, I was pretty sure that I could spend my life with this person, but many are too impatient to wait that long. Why? FOR SEX. See, I'm not saying they marry only for sex, I'm saying that not allowing a licit outlet for sexual needs causes people to marry before they're ready
.You also said in another post:
>A teenager has to learn self control just as children and adults. Some of the comments made on this list make abstaining seem like a sin or just too hard for us to do. I think Jesus was 33 when he died and I really can't picture Jesus masturbating so he could abstain.<
I'd be careful about arguing from omission. Nothing in Scripture alludes to Jesus' personal dealings with sex or masturbation. I threw out there earlier that Jesus could have been married; he also could have masturbated. (Paul, BTW, I thought about your thinking that Jesus would have been a horrible husband if he were married, but I reply that most of his disciples were married. Surely they were not guilty of being bad husbands for following Jesus.) I'm not saying he was or wasn't or did or didn't. I'm just saying that you cannot argue from omission.
See my post to Luis for more if you're interested.
--Josh
1037 From: Josh Subject: Re: Re: [~ Masturbation and lust
Brain writes: << Forgive me, but I think you are definitely being too "romantic." I had sex before marriage (in a previous relationship), and I find it in no way took away from my first time with my wife on our wedding night. I also must disagree on the point of masturbation because
I've fanatically masturbated since puberty, and it has never ill-affected me (except when over-zealous Christians tried to shove their guilt on me). I still masturbate now, and I find it is simply a nice way to give my wife a break. Frankly, I think masturbation is perfectly normal and okay. I was not taught how to do it. I don't know many guys who were, yet we all figured it out and do it, so it must be natural. >>Josh,
Does your wife share these sentiments? Does she feel that your having had sex in no way took away from the first time the two of you had sex? Does she feel that it fine and doesn't take away anything from your relationship by your continual masturbation? You mention "give your wife a break" which gives the impression that she wants or needs a "break" from having sex with you. Somehow the phrase "getting a break from" gives the impression that person isn't enjoying it as much as the other -- or, perhaps, I'm misunderstanding (something I frequently do).
Honestly, it was hard for her to get over that I had had sex before meeting her, but she got over it long before we were married, and I really don't think it crossed her mind on our wedding night. Besides, IMO, the only reason she had a problem with it is due to all the brainwashing "Christian" teaching about sex. All the romanticizing about waiting for "the one." If she had been a non-Christian, I'm sure it wouldn't have phased her.
As for the masturbation, I know that she neither has time, nor, particularly wants to do it generally, say, in the morning before work. However, I find that many times I feel the need, so in order to meet my need w/o inconveniencing us (really it's something of an inconvenience for both of us because sex takes considerably longer than masturbation. We just don't have that time sometimes, so I masturbate. She recognizes this and is fine. Now, if I were to do it instead of having sex, that would be another thing altogether.
--Josh
1044 From: Alise Subject: Re: Re: [~ Masturbation and lust
Josh writes>>I went to Oral Roberts University, and it, like Alise's husband's bible college, was full of youths looking to hitch up.<<
Ah-ha! I should've recognized an ORU grad! Our pastor went to Oral Roberts and apparently he was a bit of a heck-raiser too! Still is, many would say!
~Alise
This page was last updated on: July 26, 2002
This page was last updated on: July 26, 2002
