Hi Becky, and welcome,

You make a good argument; in fact it's the only valid Biblical argument I've ever heard against masturbation. The question is, can the lust and the masturbation be separated? A lot of bored couples fantasize they are with some movie star or model when they have sex with their spouse. The sin is the same for them doing that and having those thoughts while masturbating alone; it's the thoughts not the sex act, that is the problem.

Is it possible to masturbate without lusting? I heard a fellow yell "Any one who says he can masturbate without lusting is lying". I wanted to yell back, "Just because you can't do it doesn't mean others can't!" We do have the power to control what we think, even when we're having sex (solo or with a partner). I'd agree that too many folks don't exercise that power, but they do have it.

If a person needs fantasy to get to orgasm, then I don't think he or she is aroused enough to "need" to masturbate. I can't speak for women, but if a guy is really aroused, he could masturbate while reading the phone book out loud. It seems to me that the why of masturbation is a key; if it's just for pleasure then it's potentially dangerous, but if it's for release, which leads to greater self control, then it can be very good. If masturbation is limited to need, then lust is much less of a factor because it's not needed to become aroused enough.

On a related note, here's an interesting tidbit about how God created us. When a man has sexual intercourse, it results in a rise in his testosterone level; when he masturbates, it does not. We don't have a full understanding of the intricacies of how testosterone effects men sexually, but we do know that more testosterone results in greater desire and ability. So, intercourse causes a temporary release with a long term increase in drive, while masturbation causes a temporary release with NO long term change. Having intercourse, or "married sex" satisfies a man AND makes him want more, while masturbating, or "single sex" just satisfies.

Hmmmm ....

BTW, this also means a man who is having sex with he wife should be able to "do it" more often than if he were having sex alone. Very interesting.