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Direct link to this page: www.fantasy.bigmword.com

"I don't believe a loving God would put a raging fire in an immature kid and then damn him for doing what he can't help doing"
_{Dr James Dobson "Focus on the Family"(5)}

Part of http://members.optusnet.com.au/~austbua/masturba.htm
• Definitions
• Other Names for masturbation
• Summary
• The Concerns about masturbation
• Will others know I have been masturbating?
• Why do I feel guilty afterwards?
• Why can't I stop masturbating?
• Weird things happen when I stop masturbating!
• An unusual story
• What about fantasies?
• What you can do about it
• Questions and answers
• What the Bible says
• For Christians
• Further Information

Summary

Not everyone masturbates, however most males will begin sometime in their teenage years.
THIS PAGE IS NOT HERE TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO BEGIN TO MASTURBATE!Index

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This page is intended to help boys who masturbate to come to terms with the strong feelings, emotions, the inability to quit and the guilt often associated with masturbation.

Definitions

Masturbation - stimulating (usually rubbing) the penis to achieve orgasm and ejaculation.

Ejaculation literally means "suddenly" and refers to semen coming out of the erect penis. (slang - coming, shooting your wad, spooging)
Semen is the fluid in which sperm live. (slang - cum, jizz, spooge)
Orgasm - Intense feelings and muscle contractions associated with ejaculation.Index

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Lust - craving, eagerness, desire, passion, urge
Fantasy - imagining (usually sexual acts) in order to achieve ejaculation

Other more common namesIndex

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Wanking, Jerking off, Jacking off, Beating the meat, Beating off, Whacking off, Spanking the monkey.

• Do other boys do it too?
• Will people know I've been masturbating?
• Why do I feel guilty after I've masturbated?
• Why can't I stop doing it?
• How often is too often?
• Does masturbating mean I'm gay?
• Will I go blind from masturbating?
• Will I use up all my semen from masturbating too much?Index

• Will I go to hell because I masturbate?
• Will God punish me for masturbating?

The Facts
Surveys have consistently shown that more than 95% of males engage in masturbation, particularly during adolescence. (Some say the remainder are lying!) Dr Dobson of "Focus on the Family" notes that there is absolutely no controversy on these figures from any source!

Boys cannot fail to know about masturbation at a young age since it is a regular topicIndex

Indexin the school yard. (A 1998 internet survey₍₃₎ claimed 50% of boys had masturbated by their 13th birthday and 84% by their 14th birthday)

If you clean up after masturbating, then no-one will be able to tell - including a doctor! The only clueIndex

Indexwould be if your penis was red and sore from too much masturbation!

Why do I feel guilty afterwards?

Some males find less problem with the feelings of guilt if they only masturbateIndex

Indexbefore they go to sleep at night. That way the body and mind has many hours to chill out before tackling the outside world again.

An internet survey₍₃₎ asked the following question about masturbation:

Many teenage boys are "touch deprived", partly because of their fear and other people's fear of being labeled "gay" and find masturbation a temporary comfort and release from their feelings of isolation. Index

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The best advice seems to be that if find the need to masturbate, then to accept it as a normal part of your being.

Once during the summer after my junior year (age 16), I was too tired at night to masturbate. I went an entire week this way. Toward the end of the week, not only was I having vivid sex dreams but I was almost hallucinating ? everything I saw had a sexual component or context. I was "seeing" genitalia in all things (and in the worst possible ways). To tell you the truth, I don't recommend it.₍₃₎

Dr James Dobson in his video "Peer Pressure and Sexuality" explains that over time, the hormonal pressure inside a boy can increase to the point where even a girl simply walking into the room can trigger off an irreversible chain of events in his mind.
The desire for sexual expression becomes so strong that he invariably masturbates resulting in the hormonal pressure then dropping again.
Over time, the sexual pressure builds again and the boy will feel compelled to express the sexualIndex

Indexpressure in his body again no matter how strong his determination was to 'never do it again'. (paraphrased from the video)

It's really easy for me to put off masturbating. When I was 13, I masturbated for about a year but haven't done so since. I don't need to masturbate and I don't have a girlfriend. The buildup is expelled in my sleep about once every 2 months. ...it seems that I am the only person who does not masturbate. Index

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- age 22, Australia ₍₃₎

Every male has two options:

1. Control the fantasies and lust as best he can and masturbate when the internal hormonal pressure causes the sexual pressure to build. This option keeps his sexual nature as an important part of his personality in the context originally designed.
2. Feed the fantasies and lust and cultivate a sexual desire increasingly out of control and dominating every aspect of his life. This option leads to excessive masturbation and then more problems including guilt and poor self image! This option also often leads to violating others in an attempt to gratify the lust which increasingly dominates his personality.

The more frequently a male masturbates, the more fantasy that is required to produce an orgasm each time.
Ideally, the teenager/ young adult should aim to delay masturbation until the hormonal pressure builds,Index

Indexthen very little fantasy or no fantasy at all is required to produce ejaculation.

Masturbation should be an experience the boy practices alone.
Masturbation with other males strengthens the link of sexual excitement directed toward males.Index

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This could direct a boy's sexuality in a direction he doesn't want it to go.

The Bible is clear however:
Control what you allow your mind to feed on!

Yes, it happens. Whenever I get really busy, I just forget to think about masturbation on a daily basis, so I forget to get horny on a daily basis. It's strange, and whenever I get un-busy, I remember, "Hey, I should masturbate today." Pause. "Whoa! I haven't masturbated in a while!" It normally lasts a week, sometimes as much as 2 weeks. This is usually the tactic I use whenever I want to stop masturbating ? make myself busy!Index

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- age 15, Mexico₍₃₎

How much masturbation is too much?

Every boy is created with a different temperament so it is difficult to define 'too much' masturbation. Some boys never masturbate, others do it occasionally and at the other end of the spectrum, others do it several times a day.
If your life begins to revolve around masturbation (e.g. you schedule your day around masturbation) then you are probably allowing it too much emphasis in your life.

A singer from a prominent Christian music group was urging boys not to masturbate because of the lust associated with the activity. I've tried to quit and I can't - what advice do you have for me?

It is a balancing act for every male:
Every teenage boy has fantasies and lusts and will explore the connection between these, their sexual nature and masturbation.
Lust, however is something which every boy must learn to control as he grows older. (The bible advice is to "flee youthful lusts" [flee youthful cravings, passions and urges])
Even if you were able to stop all lust and totally stop masturbating, the hormonal pressure would build steadily inside you to the point where all sorts of people become sexually attractive to you. People you never even gave a second glance before!
At this point the act of masturbation requires very little or even no fantasy. This is probably the ideal compromise situation to aim for as an unmarried teen/adult.
If you are one of the many males who don't experience wet dreams, then masturbation is actually a means of self control! Masturbation reduces the forced sexual attraction associated with the increasing levels of hormonal pressure inside you! (time bomb effect)Index

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Mental life then returns to normal for a period of time.

Because there are strong and loud differing views on this subject I have chosen to look to those who are highly regarded in the Christian community for their balanced views on tough subjects like this.

Dr James Dobson from "Focus on the Family" writes:
"It is my opinion that masturbation is not much of an issue with God. It is a normal part of adolescence which involves no one else. It does not cause disease. It does not produce babies, and Jesus did not mention it in the Bible. I'm not telling you to masturbate, and I hope you won't feel the need for it. But if you do, it is my opinion that you should not struggle with guilt over it. Why do I tell you this? Because I deal with so many Christian young people who are torn apart with guilt over masturbation; they want to stop and just can't. I would like to help you avoid that agony." ₍₅₎

Gerald Coates, in his book "Kingdom Now" writes:
"Over this whole issue of masturbation, we have to face the fact that the Bible is completely silent about it. Those who lived 2,000 years ago had all the same basic desires and inclinations of a twentieth-century human being. The New Testament (as well as the Old Testament) continually directs us not to get drunk, rob, murder and swindle. Few believers have ongoing problems in those areas! It is amazing therefore that one thing most Christians experience, to some degree or other, is not actually even mentioned." ₍₆₎
"Compulsive masturbation, simply for the purpose of self gratification, with other people in mind is wrong. .....But masturbation for the purpose of self control is something altogether different. The act in and of itself is not wrong. When someone is under pressure to the point of Index

Indexdistraction, whether single or married, it is often better that they relieve themselves - for at that point no mental stimulation is necessary."₍₆₎

He concludes with the statement:Index

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"If it happens to you, I wouldn't worry too much about it because I don't think it has much to do with your relationship to God"

Press here for more discussion on masturbation, particularly for Christians.

The best resource I have found on this subject is the video "PREPARING Index

IndexFOR ADOLESCENCE- Peer Pressure and Sexuality" (James Dobson from Focus on the Family www.family.org). (I can't find it listed for sale there at the moment though) It is an excellent expose' of male sexuality suitable for both adults and teenagers.

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